The most random story ever

"WAIT!" said the cow made of plastic and denim. I turned around. "WHAT DO YOU WANT??!!11111desu" I screamed making fish explode.
"I...I think I'm gonna TURN INTO STONE!" "Oh,that's cool :3" I skipped away. The cow just turned to stone. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA..I'm sick. Then the farmer from StateFarm turned to an old lady and ran into a car,because he thought doing that would turn you into a magical fairy. I looked out the window. It was dark. TOOOOOO dark. There was a white wolf. "OH MY GAAWWWD,A WOLF!" I ran into a wall,which made me catch on fire. So I grabbed some marshmallows,and roasted away. The wolf then turned into a unicorn. Ha ha,wth. "ROASTED NUTS! GET YER ROASTED NUTS HERE!!!" said Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. Now listen,kids. If you wanna turn into Mermaid Man and fly to space with the space chimps and Morgan Freeman,GO RIGHT AHEAD. But you should really use a banana phone for financing,it helps. FLIP ON THE REMOTE,AND USE CHAIRMODE! Or else the world is lost. "I SPILLED MY MILK!" exclaimed the mailman from Denver. "OKAY,THAT'S FINE. BUT IF ANYONE SPILLS MY COFFEE,THEN YOU'RE ALL SCREWED" said the muffin man. HI,WELCOME TO NARNIA,HOW MAY I HELP YOU?! Aslan says your argument is invalid. Katy Perry may have candy canes and lollipops,but she doesn't have AllState. "I'M SLENDERMAN,I WILL KILL YOU ALL!" said Slenderman. "But Slenderman,you don't have a face,so you can't speak,AND you can't see who you wanna kill,so how is that possible?" I respond while eating a soda can. Slenderman is forever alone. "I just want a hug..." he says back. This story is really odd,don't cha think? Yes,yes it is. Cheese are having a photoshoot. SAY "PEOPLE"! Let's all watch Blue Man group! Yeah,this story is now over. THANKS FOR READING! I'm more random than all of you. *death stare*

....now please,give us our balls back.